I Can Jump More Times Than You

Under the newest convoluted scoring system for Figure Skating, your overall performance doesn't matter as long as you get in the most landed jumps. Your arms can look lanky, sloppy, and flailing; your face can fail to disguise your move-to-move thought process; your artistry can be completely lacking, but as long as you throw in 7 triple jumps, most being in combinations, then you're clearly deserving of the gold medal. While some may argue it's an athletic sport, and the jumps are the athletic portion, I argue that it used to suffice to skate beautifully with a few tricks. Yes, the jumps are exciting, but Michelle was always more deserving of our adoration than Tara. Likewise, Sasha is more deserving than Rachel what's her name, this year's national champ.