Childhood Revisited

I was born in Denver, Colorado, which automatically makes me a Broncos fan. During my first grade year, we began collecting baseball cards because they came with a stick of gum. You know the kind that turns old minutes after you begin chewing? But we loved it, and we kept buying it. The kids all decided we had better choose teams to love so we could trade cards with one another. Naturally I chose the Mets because they had the same colors as the Broncos. Turns out they had more in common than just colors....like long stretches of being losing teams. But I am not a fair-weather friend, and thus have maintained my love despite my teams being Jay Leno punchlines.

I finally got to see my team play, but unfortunately the game was against my other team, the Nats. (Loved likely for the similarity in name's length and sound, and losing streak.) I wore a vintage Mets hat and sat right behind the Nats' dugout. Every time I applauded the Mets I got the stinkeye from the surrounding fans. The Mets won 10-5 so you can imagine how well liked I was! The only way the game could have been more enjoyable would have been to catch one of the MANY pop flies. Guess it wasn't meant to be. Nor was eating delicious nachos....the chili proved too sturdy for the chips to survive the five-minute walk back to my seat. Boo.

And So the Fear Sets In

It's what I wanted, right? I've long said I wanted to be an actress, or have my own sitcom. Well here it is, the chance for which anyone wanting to write in Hollywood would give their front teeth, and I'm constantly trying to talk myself out of quitting before I get started. It's just fear. Fear of failing, fear of succeeding.

It's that quote by Marianne Williamson:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
—Marianne Williamson

Now if I can just remember this, daily.